I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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