I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
