hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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