I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
