The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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