I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
