office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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