She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
