ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
