I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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