sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
