"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
