So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
