well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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