my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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