i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
