all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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