Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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