I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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