that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
