Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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