That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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