I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
