So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This is classic penis vs brain.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
