If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
