Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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