i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
