Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
