i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
