You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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