addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
