its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love accidental penises.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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