let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What a dumb baby whore.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
