every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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