just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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