she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
