You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
