Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
