Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
