my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
