Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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