I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
