I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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