after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
