just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
