i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
