But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
