North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
