It's Friday. Sex?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
