I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
