what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i think i have herpe
just one?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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